Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Whirlwind

One of my favorite stories from the Bible is when Elijah is carried off to heaven in a chariot and whirlwind. I have often wondered what exactly that not only looked like but even more what did that feel like. I am thinking that I am getting an idea of what be caught up in a whirlwind feels like. Three months ago my dad died. Since that moment my life has been a whirlwind of strong proportions. Let me tell you some of the gusts that keeps my whirlwind in motion. Dad's death. A trip to Washington DC for a conference. End of year reports and testing. Deciding to leave NM and Rehoboth to live in Chicago with Mom. Saying goodbye or not saying goodbye to so many people in many different settings. Packing. Sorting. Discarding. Packing. Interviewing for a job at Trinity College and not getting the job. Going to Synod. Living for a month without any of my stuff but a suitcase and box of stuff. Family reunion of which I was a main organizer. Heading back to NM to get the rest of our stuff. Changing address. Being and advocate for Mom with some different companies. Getting some services hooked up in the Chicago house when it is still not officially my home. Having the cats run away and leaving without them. Did I mention grief in many forms and for many things. No job. I think that this gives some sort of idea. My life is what it is. At moments I feel that the whirlwind has sucked the breath out of me. Just like walking out into a very icy morning and taking a breath making my windpipe momentarily numb. I know that I have made friend with my whirlwind when I can once more breathe. I, like Elijah, want to see my whirlwind as a positive life change and make it my friend.

1 comment:

GrammE said...

Esther, A whirlwind sounds like an adequate metaphor for what you have been going through. (Look for a pair of red shoes when the dust settles!) I am sorry about the elements of grief that are woven in this stage for you. I pray that the Spirit will minister to you in every way, replacing the ashes with the oil of joy! P.S. I am eager to think about visiting you in Illinois and seeing your family home sometime soon.