Whirlwind

One of my favorite stories from the Bible is when Elijah is carried off to heaven in a chariot and whirlwind. I have often wondered what exactly that not only looked like but even more what did that feel like. I am thinking that I am getting an idea of what be caught up in a whirlwind feels like. Three months ago my dad died. Since that moment my life has been a whirlwind of strong proportions. Let me tell you some of the gusts that keeps my whirlwind in motion. Dad's death. A trip to Washington DC for a conference. End of year reports and testing. Deciding to leave NM and Rehoboth to live in Chicago with Mom. Saying goodbye or not saying goodbye to so many people in many different settings. Packing. Sorting. Discarding. Packing. Interviewing for a job at Trinity College and not getting the job. Going to Synod. Living for a month without any of my stuff but a suitcase and box of stuff. Family reunion of which I was a main organizer. Heading back to NM to get the rest of our stuff. Changing address. Being and advocate for Mom with some different companies. Getting some services hooked up in the Chicago house when it is still not officially my home. Having the cats run away and leaving without them. Did I mention grief in many forms and for many things. No job. I think that this gives some sort of idea. My life is what it is. At moments I feel that the whirlwind has sucked the breath out of me. Just like walking out into a very icy morning and taking a breath making my windpipe momentarily numb. I know that I have made friend with my whirlwind when I can once more breathe. I, like Elijah, want to see my whirlwind as a positive life change and make it my friend.

Families. My family is far from perfect. I love each and every one of them flaws and all. Right now my sibs and I are concerned about Mom and Dad. After much phoning and talking with the other sibs Big Sis is taking off for the family home at the end of the week. Next Sis and Third Sis are flying in so that Big Sis has company for the trip. She will then stay with Mom and Dad for an indeterminate length of time. Families can be tough - they know all the flaws, foibles and things hidden from non family members. Yet I would not trade mine. They take me as is and will be there when needed.

Money Man

Have you ever been in love with someone you have never met? Okay, maybe love is not the correct word. I am taking a financial peace class at church. The curriculum scares me a bit I must admit. I have never been particularly good with money. I have a habit of taking extra money and lending it to people, buying things for people, spending money on my kids at school, buying books ..... You get the idea. In comes my new hero. He does not wear bright and shining armor, he does not ride a mighty steed or have the ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound. He simply has a direct, CLEAR way of explaining money and how to get a handle on the money in your life. This man's name is Dave Ramsey. I never thought that I would hear myself say this but I am enjoying the video lessons but I am also ENJOYING reading his book on finances and money. Go figure! If you ever have the opportunity to take a course of Dave Ramsey's take it. I am finding that it is just good cents. My check book has not balanced for ( dare I say it) balanced for years. I do have a little trick that assures I am never overdrawn. Money is just money. When someone asks me how much I get paid I kind of shrug because I know that money gets deposited a few times a month but I do not worry about the particulars. I know that some of you are shuddering at this point. I just do not have the find the last penny gene.

My hero Dave may be turning me around. I may never be a last penny kind of girl but I will be saving more and cutting up my credit cards actually was not so bad. My new vocabulary words are, save, cash, budget and emergency fund to mention a few. Who says that an old woman can't learn new tricks?!

I am turning 50 tomorrow. I know it is a cliche but I really do not know where the time went. I really do feel that just yesterday I was playing in the ditch with Dale, taking pictures for the school yearbook, studying in college of beginning my first teaching job. It comforts me to know that I would not want to go back and relive any part of my life. It might be fun to visit again but not to go back and actually live there. The good is always tinted with the bad. Achievements are always bittersweet with the memories of disappointments. I want to look ahead - to learn from the first 50 so that the next 50 are even better. There is no benefit in regrets or reliving the past over and over.

I love looking around me and seeing all of the positive aspects of me life.

My family - watching my dear nieces and nephews now raising kids of their own.

Mom and Dad aged but still sharp and with so much to share and impart to

us children. Friendships that are deep due to the time and care that has gone into

them for so long. I am 50 and I do not want to go back - I want to go forward.

Thank you Lord for the life that you have blessed me with.